How to be a good listener.
I recently met someone new and had a lovely conversation with them.
They asked me a few questions, left pauses in the conversation but one thing that struck me was their listening skills! They looked at me in the eye, were present in the conversation and let me finish my sentences before engaging in another topic.
Over the last few years I have been doing research into how to be a good conversationalist, and I discovered that to be able to have a connected integration with a friend or a new acquaintance, I needed to build the habit of LISTENING!
This was difficult for me at first, as I am an extrovert and love to talk. I realized that I needed to start new habits and break the old habits of talking about myself, interrupting others and not being present in the moment. I want to be someone who listens to others and that people feel valued when I have a conversation with them.
So, these are the habits I started in my conversations to help me become a better listener.
1. Make eye contact and be present.
When you intact with anyone, make eye contact and glace at them throughout the conversation. This lets the other person know that you are interested in them and care about what they are saying. Focus your attention to what they are saying, and think about a question you can ask them about the topic once they are finished speaking. It feels amazing to spend time with someone who is engaged and full present! It makes you feel valued and appreciated.
2. Don’t interrupt.
It is really easy to interrupt someone when they are talking to tell them about something you experienced that similar or jump in with something funny you want to say, but its important to let people finish what they are saying and leave a break in the conversation before you ask another question. This lets the person know that you are paying attention and care about what they are talking about.
3. Be open.
Every interaction you have with someone can be an opportunity to learn something new. If you go into any interaction you have with a friend, someone serving at the supermarket or a work colleague with the attitude of that you can learn something new, you will be pleasantly surprised with people’s funny stories, life experiences and wisdom. If you take the time to listen to people and ask them questions about their life, you could learn something new that will help you in your own life.
Take some time in the next week to write down 1 habit that you can start in your life to become a good listener and better at having meaningful and connected conversations with others.
Everybody loves a friend that is a good listener!