What to do when you feel insecure.
“God gives them security, and they rest in it. His eyes are on their ways” Job 24:23
We are made to find security, significance, and satisfaction in God. He created us to know and feel secure in our Identity in him. He created us to live a life of making a significant impact to those around us, and to feel satisfied in our relationship with him.
Have you every struggled with your appearance?
Have you ever lost your job and feel insecure in your financial situation?
Have you ever felt lost in the direction or purpose for your life?
A year and a half ago, my husband, son and I moved to a new city. We were excited about the possibilities of meeting new people, seeing new things and creating some new memories together.
Moving somewhere new is always hard, because you have to establish a whole new life. We literally left everything behind and packed our car and moved here. It was an exciting experience, and I am so glad we did it.
During this time when we have been building friendships, starting a new business and trying to find a community of people to connect with, I have felt insecure. I have felt at times like I don’t know where I fit in here, and I have felt insecure about who I belong to, or what my purpose is here.
About 6 months ago, I realized that I was feeling insecure about my who I was and that I needed to rediscover my Identity in Christ, and that all of my security comes from who God says I am, and that I belong to him.
What I have learnt is that throughout our lives, we are going to experience change. Our bodies are always changing, the weather is always changing, people’s opinions of us will change and friendships and relationships change.
Sometimes it is easy for us to base our identity on our families, our jobs, the house we live in, our friendship group, and what people think of us. The problem is that those things are subject to change and if we base our Identity in those things, we will be devastated when those things change.
What I have learnt is that it is essential for us to know who we are in Christ and that he is the only thing that we can build our life upon. He is our firm foundation and when we build our life on him, we can stand the test of time.
So, what do you do when you are feeling insecure?
1.Remember who you are.
When I was 16, I felt insecure about my appearance. I didn’t really know what clothes I liked, or what my purpose in life was, or what my talents and gifts were. I really struggled with comparing myself to my friends and sisters, who were all beautiful, and seemed to have so much confidence and purpose. I tried to be like my friends, and it didn’t feel right. It wasn’t until someone told me that I was unique and different to every one else and that God made me with a special purpose and that only I could fulfil it. I started to read verses about my Identity in Christ and his love for me, and it really shifted the insecurity and comparison. Because I started to focus on who I was in Christ and God had made me and loved everything about me, it gave me the confidence to start thinking about what colors I liked, what clothes I wanted to wear, the unique gifts and talents I had and how God could use all of it to help others. When we compare ourselves to others, it diminishes what we have to offer and its easy to feel like your gifts aren’t good enough or valuable. Let me remind you that God made you and that he has a specific purpose and plan for your life and he loves everything about you. He loves your appearance, your personality, your talents, gifts, your life experience, your heart, mind and soul, he loves your skills and he accepts you just as you are today. You are the only one who can do what God has called you to do.
The way to conquer insecurity is not to look at what you don’t have, but to focus on what you do have. When we look at our Identity in Christ and everything, he says about us, it brings security and provides an anchor for us.
The way I overcame insecurity was to focus on the Identity Statements about who I am in Christ. Every morning I would look at a list I had put on my bathroom mirror and memorize it. It took a few months, but I started to feel secure and confident about who I was in Christ. I still memorize that list every day and it keeps me secure and steady in the world of comparison and insecurity.
Here is a list of Identity Statements you can find in the Bible.
I am a child of God – 1 John 3:2
I am loved – John 15:9
I am forgiven through Christ – 1 Peter 1:16
I am never alone – Deut 31:8
I am secure – 2 Corinthians 1:22
I am made in God’s image – Genesis 1:27
I am valuable – 1 Corinthians 6:20
I am healed – 1 Peter 2:24
I am chosen – Colossians 3:12
2.Remember who you belong to.
When you know who you belong to, it makes you feel secure. It gives us a sense of safety and is an anchor for us throughout our lives. It’s easy for us to look around us to our families and our friends to provide that security, and even though that is a good thing to do, we first need to know that we belong to our Heavenly Father and who he is to us.
God wants you to know him as a Father and he wants to have a strong, close relationship with you. He wants to provide for you, comfort you, guide you, protect you and lead you.
Too often we live our lives out of our own strength and don’t even ask God for his help. Sometimes we try everything else and the last thing on our list is to pray and ask God for his guidance.
When you have a revelation of who God is to you, it will radically change the way you feel about yourself. Just like when we feel loved and secure by our family or friends, God wants us to feel that way about our relationship with him.
How do we become secure in who God is to us?
It starts by you discovering who God says he is to you.
I started memorizing a list of the names of God every morning and it has made a big difference in my life.
Here is a list of verses of who God is to you.
God is my Rock – Psalm 18:2
God is my Shield – Deut 33:29
God is my Shepard – Psalm23:1
God is my Strength – Psalm 28:7
God is my Peace – Judges 6:24
God is my Provider – Genesis 22:13
Knowing who you belong to gives you a sense of security. It is like a ship that is out at sea, being tossed around by the waves, and when the ship puts its anchor down, it provides stability for the ship.
When we know who God is to us, it provides the stability we need to flourish, thrive and succeed in in every area of our lives.
3.Remember what you are created for.
“As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the multifaceted grace of God” 1 Peter 4:10
God made you with a specific purpose. He has given you abilities, skills, talents, and passions that he wants you to discover and use for his glory and the benefit of others.
We were made to help and serve others.
When we know who we are, and who God is to us, and what our purpose is, it helps us to become secure and live a life of significance and satisfaction.
I have always loved talking to people, getting to know them and encouraging them. I always feel so full of joy and satisfied when I have an opportunity to tell someone how amazing they are, or that they are doing a great job or helping them discover their purpose in Christ.
Ever since I was little, I wanted to do something special with my life. I wanted to help, encourage and inspire others. I have no idea how to do it, and as a young adult, I felt insecure about what my purpose was and how to achieve it. I thought that if I tried a few different jobs that I would find something that I felt satisfied with. But none of the vocations I tried seems to be the right fit. I felt like everyone else seemed to know what they wanted to do, and I felt like a bit of a failure. I remember praying about this and I felt like God say that the purpose he had for me was unique. I started to write down all the things that I love to do and think about how I could create a job for myself that would help me use all the skills and abilities I have to help others.
Some people know that they want to be a nurse, hairdresser, firefighter, teacher, builder, business owner, artist, lawyer, musician, counsellor, mentor, and coach from a young age. But many of us have to carve out a pathway of purpose and try a few things, before we find a vocation that fits.
If you feel insecure about your future, your career path, and your purpose, here are a few things to remember.
God has given you specific skills, abilities and talents for a purpose and he wants you to discover those and use them to help and serve others.
God wants you to live a life of significance and satisfaction in the purpose and plan he has for you.
Only you can do what God has called you to do.
Your purpose will include doing something that will help others and bring glory to God.
There is a great verse in the Bible that says “You were born for such a time as this” Esther 4:14
I want to encourage you that if you are feeling insecure about your life purpose, or your career, remember God created you and he wants to show you the exact plan he has for you to achieve.
Next time you are feeling insecure about the way you look, your friendships, your career, your life purpose, finances, or anything else, remember that God has given us everything we need to find security, significance and satisfaction in His Word. His word is our anchor throughout every storm of life and we can build our lives upon what he says in his word.
What area do you need to find security in today?